Garbage Time Sports

America is the most divided it’s been since the Civil War. Left versus right. Rich versus poor. Black vs White. Right twix vs Left twix. The country is fractured, and we're desperate for someone to believe in.

That’s why Lance Armstrong’s story still hits. He was more than a cyclist. He was a symbol. An absolute nail. The guy who beat cancer, who took on Europe’s best and put BELT TO ASS seven years in a row in the Tour de France. He brought people together, more importantly, Americans together. People from all walks of life, finance bros, blue-collar guys, soccer moms, cancer survivors—everyone repped that yellow LIVESTRONG band. He was untouchable. We need a hero like Lance Armstrong again—an American athlete who dominates on the world stage and brings us together. Not perfect. Not polished. Just powerful. Someone who makes us believe again. And not a political figure (Fucking nerds).

Let’s rewind. The early 2000s? Lance Armstrong was the Man. He won the hardest race in the world 7 cocksucking times. Not once. Not twice. Seven. He did it after surviving testicular cancer that had spread to his lungs and brain. The man should’ve been dead. Instead, he came back stronger. The LIVESTRONG era changed culture. You couldn’t go to a gym or a high school without seeing that yellow wristband. It wasn’t about cycling. It was about belief. Grit. Overcoming whatever life throws at you. Lance gave people hope. He gave people focus. He made suffering look like a path to glory.

Here’s what nobody wants to admit: in an era where everyone in cycling was doping, Lance simply outworked, outplayed, and out-strategized the entire field. He never once failed a drug test—not one. In the end, he was only exposed after a former teammate flipped on him, forcing the truth to go public.

He went public with this news in the hardest way possible. He sat across from Oprah. On national television. And owned it. That’s some real American drama. Flawed? Yes. Cowardly? No chance. It was bold. It was honest. And it took balls. Yeah, he was a dick. He bullied people, protected his empire, and crushed anyone who questioned him. But that’s part of why he was so good. He had that edge. He was built different. And that’s what made people follow him in the first place.

Look at where we are now. This country is starving for someone to root for. Athletes today are branded, cautious, overly media-trained. They’re more worried about going viral than going hard. Lance didn’t care what you thought—he just wanted to win. And people respected that.

We don’t need a squeaky-clean savior. We need someone real. Someone with a chip on their shoulder. Someone who can unite people by being undeniably great at something global. Someone to get Americans fired up, to remind us what dominance looks like. The Olympics used to do that. The World Cup sometimes hits. But it’s rare now. We need a modern-day Lance Armstrong. Not to cheat. Not to lie. But to win. Relentlessly. To fight for greatness in a way that makes the rest of us stop arguing and start admiring. Someone who steps onto the world stage and makes everyone from the frat house to section 8 housing stand up and say, “That’s our guy”.

Here is a thought I want to leave you guys with: “Be careful how you treat people on the way up, because you might see them on the way down.” Lance Armstrong lived that. He soared, got knocked down hard. Was he flawed? Absolutely. But heroes don’t have to be perfect. They just have to show us what’s possible. And in his prime, Lance made America believe we could take on the world and win.

It all started when Louis played his trumpet better than we’ve ever heard it, then Neil was the first to walk on the moon. We need a hero. We need a stud. We need another Armstrong.

-JR